By Father Tommy Vlachos

Sooner or later, my dear Friends, young men and women, as well as parents, will face the generative problem of their children. They will face it because this instinct is natural, or better said, it was implanted by God in the organism of every man and it presents itself on its own at a certain age. In older times the stimuli of the environment were fewer; therefore the generative instinct was presented somewhat later. Today, however, with so many stimuli like television, cinema theaters, internet, various printed publications, etc., this instinct is presented a lot earlier. For this reason, parents and children must confront this great problem and have the right stand toward it: a stand that it is not a bad evolution of the youth, but a normal maturing. This is part of healthy development in a child.

Let’s leave the theories of Freud on the side, and let’s try to understand and adopt the arguments of science and medicine that say: the cleanliness of the soul and the avoidance of immorality benefit youth to a great degree. This benefit leads the youth to personal and professional success. Therefore, it is important for both parents and children to understand their responsibility, and to try and solve any doubts of this matter that concern us. First of all, neither parents nor the youth should be anxious when the symptoms of the awakening of this instinct are presented in their generative urge, because it is not something evil. It is not something sinful. On the contrary, when is kept where it should be, where God intended to be, then it becomes a creative factor in life and “pulls” the blessings of God toward it. Also, parents are advised to go even further and help their children understand that God created a man and a woman so that in this way, and only in this way, life will continue and the human societies will be renewed. Parents should emphasize that the generative instinct finds its’ mission and perfection, only in the holy environment of the family. This family is created through the holy Sacrament of Marriage, and any other use of this instinct outside marriage alters it to an animal-like instinct, and it takes away from the holiness that God surrounds it with. This is evident outside the blessed and holy marriage, where the generative instinct is reduced to one that is hedonistic (based on temporary and immoral pleasure) with no higher destination. These are the words parents should mention to their children in every chance they get.

I think that the mother’s word and stand in this matter play the most important and fundamental role. A fundamental role not only for the guidance of girls, but for boys too, because the mother is gifted by God to manage these matters with delicate and careful ways. The mother is, also, gifted with an exceptional love and care for the smooth evolution of her children and these words are good and blessed. However, in order for these words to bear fruit it is necessary for the parents and children to be in CONTACT. The contact facilitates dialogue with each other in a friendly, brotherly manner, and with their hearts. If this contact is missing then no effect can bring good results. Therefore, it is necessary that from a young age, children should get used to communicating with their parents comfortably and not have secrets from them. The parents should create such a special environment which enables this communication. The children must get used to telling their parents what went at school through the day when they get back home. Also, parents must find the time to sit and listen carefully to their children. This way, when children are used to expressing themselves freely, they will speak openly about the matter of the generative instinct later. Therefore, by discussing any matters of concern parents and children will certainly reach the right decisions and conclusions.

Dear Friends, complete trust is needed between parents and adolescent children. Trust opens hearts, unlocks mouths, and in this way communication becomes easier between children and parents. If trust is missing then adolescent secrets -- the secrets of our children -- will be known to persons who have no responsibility towards them, and then we’ll have undesirable results. The duty of parents, however, does not end here but it goes further. (We will continue with this matter in the next issue.)

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